#like youve gotta be fucking kidding me

[mutt-victim]

"Men dni. Trans men are fine!" genuinely fuck off

[ennuijpg]

god is playing fucking tricks on me!! there was a glitch nationwide that affected some test takers including yours truly so now i have to take it again in two weeks im gonna dive into the sea

tmr is the moment of truth (my mcat) wish me luck guys <3

[locklylemybeloved]

i seriously need people to stop hating on olivia rodrigo and taylor swift and sabrina carpenter.

please stop putting down other people because they listen to pop artists. you arent a cooler and better person because you only listen to rock - this is coming from someone who loves rock music. you arent a cooler and better person because you relentlessly call successful female artists and their listeners “basic.” you arent a cooler and better person than me because you come to school wearing an 80s rock band tshirt and i come to school in my taylor swift merch.

remember when obscure bands were hated on? yknow how even now when someone listens to indie or “underground” music, people mock them for being qUiRkY and DiFfErEnT? wasnt that annoying and doesnt that really piss you off?

yeah. its stupid. the fact that some of yall are out here insulting people because of the sound waves they project into the holes in their head is fucking insane.

“i dont like pop music it bores me its blah blah blah whatever ” ok. cool. dont listen to it then.

“olivia isnt talented shes just like (insert another female artist)” ok. cool. between you and her, which one has three grammys?

“i dont like that artist her songwriting is boring her lyrics are stupid and bad and BASIC.” cool. great. DONT FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM.

just stop being an asshole it doesnt look good on you :/

[graveyardmouth]

i wanna go home

[controlled-haterade]

wait wait wait I'm sorry you think WE ???? ARE THE ONES UNWILLING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION?????????

[myimaginationrunswild]

Exhibit A (below) : defensiveness and fingerpointing. It's all grace and forgiveness for you, or you preaching grace for your own parents, but when OP who literally brought up the topic and is therefore cognizant of the issue says no thats not actually a helpful comment, then it's ACtUallY yOu aRe ThE SaMe LoOk iN YouRSelf. Literally saying "No you". Please consider letting people vent about shitty experiences in peace and reach for that empathy you're preaching. This is a thread for talking about the horrible shit you experienced; make your own, separate post on the nuances of human relationships. You're projecting and embarassing yourself. Also a great example of taking a minute to sleep on your reply before posting.

Also, you can 100% understand the abuse your own parents suffered, and feel bad for them. That doesnt mean you have to forgive them or keep contact with them.

Human nature is that we all make mistakes, yeah, but as an adult responsibility needs to be taken and consequences need be accepted. If you find healing in forgiveness then that's the path for you. Others cant be expected to feel the same as you, though, and sometimes the parent never gets better no matter how they're confronted. Some people are not willing to do the difficult work of healing. It's not your job to do that for them. Don't let them keep ruining your life even when you've already gotten out.

parents are so crazy because they can say the most fucked up shit to you when your brain is forming and it sets the tone for your whole adult mind set and then they forget about it the next day

[darksouls2yuri]

okay im gonna be upset if my work for this week doesnt open up today because of fucking. memorial day

[chisungie]

.

[devilsadvocate54]

was sitting and thinking about loser!ellie…

warnings: none, ellies just being ellie (a freak loser)

— loser!ellie would nevvvvver understand if someones flirting with her. (including u. sadly)

even if its the best pickup line youve ever seen in your life. (shes totally dumb)

— loser!ellie fucking LOVVVVVVES spiderman, like love love love. shes obsessed. you cant prove me wrong.

walls are full of spiderman posters, shelves r also.. full of comics. (crying after spending all her money on comics)

and OF COURSE she forced u to watch all the spiderman movies..

— loser!ellie loves it when u play with her hair. she may fall asleep. (she will)

— loser!ellie likes to send memes while texting, but the memes she sends are the ones everyone has alr talked bout and are no longer viral :(((

— loser!ellie has the simplest games on her phone. like words of wonders, candy crush saga, etc. (wow is the best btw)

— buttttt i can also imagine loser!ellie playing games “seriously” sometimes. (to her its serious tho, to u its absolutely funny af)

and every time when shes playin shes fighting with little kids. guess thats her hobby?

— can sense that loser!ellie is someone who grew up with avril lavigne!! (can we ignore the fact that she was born in 2019. please.)

— well now jus imagine that youre in a very intimate moment with loser!ellie. like ur lips r about to touch each other but jus as youre going to press ur lips against hers she starts saying stupid things…

“did u know that dinosaurs are ..-” you of course didnt let her finish her sentence or whatever and pressed ur lips against hers. (i gotta f her)

[castielstance]

HE FUCKING KILLED AMY????????

0 days since dean winchester pissed me off

[norrizzandpia]

okay so you know how oscar sleeps like anywhere, can we have some thing about how they claim they are friends but theres all these photos that lando has (or anyone really) of them two sleeping in the most random places and lando posts them as a joke (sorry if it doesnt make sense!!)

This request is 💋

Sleeping Buddies or Dating? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.

Warnings: Lando and the other drivers being menaces, language

y/nnn this is payback for making me think you have pics of me and oscar asleep together

Comments:

landonorris I LITERALLY DO???? YOUVE STARTED A WAR

- oscarpiastri lando….

- Mclarensgirly LEAK THEM LANDO

- ln4op81 plz. my bday is in a few days. that would be the best bday present.

- landonorris happy bday then

landonorris ALSO I LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THIS IDK WHAT TF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING

- y/nnn you actually don’t stop being delulu

- oscarpiastri YOURE SPURRING HIM ON

—

landonorris this is for not shutting up 🫶🏻

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS MANY????? EXIST??????

- landonorris yes.

- danielricciardo yes.

- logansargeant yes.

- alexalbon yes.

- charlesleclerc yes.

- y/nnn oh!

y/nnn were you silent or silenced?

ln4andop81 YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND THEY ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER??????

- mclarensgirly in my heart they are 😥

F1gossip they have to be dating no way you fall asleep like that in the second pic and are just friends

- f1fan2023 idk man they’ve done some questionable things in the past and stayed friends

- papayafan481 TRUEEEE like that one time Oscar said in an interview he spends nights at y/n’s all the time and they “get up to some fun” BROS GOTTA KNOWN WHAT THAT MEANS

- mclarennnnn ALSO when he won his first podium and ran up to her and KISSED HER CHEEK???? THATS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF F1 BC HE WAS SO CLOSE TO HER FUCKING LIPS. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME HE DIDNT KISS THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH AND REALIZED HE WAS ON LIVE TV SO GASLIT EVERYONE INTO THINKING HE KISSED HER CHEEK. HE KISSED HER. HE DID.

- f1fan2023 that moment is fs my roman empire. i think abt the logistics of that moment every day

—

logansargeant thought I’d hop on the train ;)

Comments:

y/nnn BRO I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOU

- logansargeant i am SICK AND TIRED of hiding

- mclarensgirly sorry… HIDING WHAT????

- mclarennnnn HE KISSED HER ON LIVE TV.

oscarpiastri you got the audacity from where?

- logansargeant you.

- f1fan81 BYEEEEEE

- mclarensgirly LIGHT HIM UP AMERICAN BOY

- ln4andop81 WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR??????

mclaren are we sensing a soft launch?

- oscarpiastri ADMIN.

- y/nnn UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- mclarensgirly WHAT.

- ln4andop81 MY MANIFESTATIONS ARE COMING TRUE OMFG

- f1fan2023 i can die happy now (i am going to live out the rest of my days living for their relationship)

- landonorris oh shit.

—

oscarpiastri yes, i did kiss her on live tv and tried to gaslight everyone into thinking i kissed her cheek (it worked on all you bitches don’t lie)

Comments:

F1fan2023 WE WON YALL

mclarennnnn I WAS FUCKING RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS FUCKING RIGHT HOLY SHIT

- oscarpiastri your comments were concerning me ngl

- y/nnn yea he thought you were going to expose us

landonorris this hard launch took way too fucking long omg

- y/nnn shut tf up bitch

mclaren we can die happily now 🥹

- mclarensgirly mclarens just like us fr

- oscarpiastri y/n and i no longer wish you death after you outed us

- mclaren NO LONGER?????? YOU DID AT ONE POINT???????

- y/nnn shhh, admin. “no longer”, that’s what you need to pay attention to

—

y/nnn he’s mine now bitches 👹

Comments:

oscarpiastri idk what your obsession is with these two pics

- y/nnn YOURE FUCKING HOT LEAVE ME ALONE

landonorris happy for you ig

- y/nnn I know the heartbreak must be painful

mclaren we would like to take the credit for dressing Oscar in the second pic

- y/nnn you deserve the world for putting him in that jacket.

mclarensgirly im rlly kicking and screaming tho

F1fan2023 i know i said i would die happy bc of this news but suddenly i hate the fact this man is off the market

- landonorris well that sucks bc pastry is sickeningly in love

[noriyucko]

its driving me crazy how much of a dad simon wants to be. like youve heard it all so many times on here but like he just really wants kids. absolute dependence on marcy, got really upset over making a kid cry, no hesitation in believing that jay was his kid despite ZERO physical similarities. and like even though he gave full custody of fionna back to prismo he still decided to come out of his depressive episode to help the two bc fionna was tearing up just a bit. simon probably wont get real therapy at the end of the show but he will FOR SURE end up adopting more fucking kids and thats all hes gotta do

[popcornforone]

Sweet Like Chocolate

A Lucien Flores Fic

Day 29 of Pedrotober (The Uninvited Prompt)

Masterlist

Rumour has it Lucien we might get to meet soon, I can’t wait. This jammies look… oooh I’ve been sold since that moment. So I wanted to go all soft for this man, because I think I will fall for him hard when I meet him on whatever screen it is.

Synopsis:- You are about to close up the cafe when a last minute customer arrives.

Word Count:- 850

Warnings over & above:- swearing, pain from not paying attention, just nice & soft & fluffy, age gap. This has been written as gender neutral as the reader.

Thanks for the read peoples. This journey really has been something. Thanks to @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for the prompts.

9pm is approaching. Closing time. Finally, you mumble to yourself. You work at a cafe at the back of a petrol station & tonight as deputy manager you are incharge of cleaning & closing & locking up. You’ve cleaned as many tables as possible, no one has been in for an hour & you are busy sorting out all of the syrups & cups when the door opens. You moan a bit too loud, the customer can probably hear you. You sigh & turn around & put in your best happy voice.

“Good evening what can I get you…” you stop. Your mouth is dry. Standing in front of you is not just a customer, but a man. In a floral silk top, with fluffy brown hair. Tailored trousers that cling to all the right places, brown loafers & eyes that entrance anyone. As a college kid you shouldn’t be fantasising in those 5 seconds exactly what this man would do to you but you do. It’s lust at first sight as you try to avert your gaze.

“Erm a hot chocolate with extra cream please to go” he says looking at his phone & then he looks up at you a good few seconds later & you haven’t moved. “Hello…” you jolt back to life. Still trapped under the charms of his good looking spell.

“Sorry sir” you panic “can you repeat that” you’re not being calm.

“A hot chocolate to go, extra cream” he winks. He can see he is having an effect on you. He does a little chuckle & runs his hand through that fluffy hair. You scramble, extremely flustered & aroused & grab the nearest takeaway cup.

“Name?” You manage to splutter out very high pitched.

“There’s no one else here” he says & you do a loud nervous laugh back.

“Sorry force of habit” & you get the milk carton out to start frothing it.

“Busy day?” He asks as he gets out his wallet.

“Mornings are worse on Sundays, everyone gets their car washed” you say frothing the milk.

“Hmmm but a dead quiet evening?”

“Yea, it gets a bit boring from 4pm to 9pm”

“That’s a long shift”

“Something’s gotta pay the rent”

“True” he says & you look up at him & smile, he’s giving back genuine small talk, often customers past 6pm don’t bother. It’s a nod, thanks & then leave without even faining interest at all. His own smile & dimple has you sighing. But you’re not paying attention. The hot milk froths over the top of the jug & drips onto your hand. Youve been doing this long enough to put the jug down & run to the sink in seconds without spilling anything else.

“Fuck” you shout as the cold water hits the already forming blisters. You then suddenly see a large hand grab a plug so the sink fill up with water.

“Keep it in there” he says as you hiss”it will feel better like this” he the caresses your other hand to try & calm you down a bit & it works. Such large hands doing such delicate things.

“Thanks but what about your coffee”

“Hot chocolate…” he says & you both laugh. “I’ll make it, I used to work in cafes it can’t have changed that much in 20 years.” You smile at him. “Just leave your hand in the sink for another 5mins then I’m sure you can point out your first aid box to me.”

The man is a complete gentleman. Making his own hot Chocolate. Strapping a blister plaster to your hand & even helping you tidy up the cafe. You can’t believe it, this man is too good to be true. Why can’t all 8:50pm customers be like this & be handsome.

“How much for the hot chocolate” he says as you turn off the last coffee machine.

“On the house”

“I can’t let you do that, won’t you get in trouble”

“Sir you helped me out when I…”

“You wouldn’t have burnt yourself if i hadn’t come in for a late night pick me up” he raises an eyebrow & hands you $20 “keep the change” he says.

“Thank you mr…”

“Lucien” he says with a smile. “Lucien Flores & I’ll be seeing you again soon, I’m certain of it” he then leans over the counter & captures your lips in a sensual kiss. You feel all jittery, the handsome stranger was either trying to make you feel better or he genuinely wanted the kiss. He is flush too when he breaks from the kiss & grabs what’s left of his hot chocolate & turns to leave. “See you around kid” he says.

You wait & watch him drive off in his McLaren before having a few palpitations as to what just happened holding that $20. You’d really had one hell of a night to end your shift. It’s only then that you realise something is inside your cash you were given. His business card with his phone number highlighted, with pink hearts around it.

“Call me”

[archie-sunshine]

ARCHIE-SUNSHINE'S FAQ!

Hi!! I'm putting this together as a quick helpful post to clear stuff up regarding my inbox, because I've been getting a lot of similar questions and I want to be able to tap a sign to let people know what they gotta know without putting in so much effort!

So, here's my FAQ for my inbox!

1: What drawing software/hardware do you use? Are you a traditional only artist?

I use clip studio paint and an ancient wacom tablet that's been chugging since 2018 :] And I also do traditional art, specifically as a way to pass the time in my college classes! my preferred drawing pens are a the 0.5 POLOP Fruits Clip, the Tombow Fudenosuke Brush pen, and the Pigma MICRON Plastic Nib, and i colour with ZEBRA mildliner highlighters!

2: Is your Inbox getting my message?

Yes it is! I just usually have around 100 other asks in my inbox that im also working through!! If your ask was super nonspecific as well, I might have deleted it because I didn't know where to start!

3. Are you taking commissions?

I open commissions typically once a month to once every other month!

4. What are your thoughts on [Insert TFP character here]/why don't you like tfp

I don't have any because I only watched half a season of that show and got bored to death! and i dislike the show because the pacing is weird, the writing is sub par, the characters bore me to death save for a few notable exceptions, the music is boring, the designs are weird and complicated, and every attempt at comedy falls flat. aka, its just not my cup of tea!

Additionally, over the year I've been posting on this blog, I have been asked at least once every single month for an answer to this question, and it hasn't changed and people still don't read my faq. and suspiciously after three of those times, my blog has been mysteriously pixelated.

... I'm not saying anyone reported me. But im not not saying that.

So thats another reason i don't like tfp.

5. Will you draw/What are your thoughts on MPREG/MECHPREG

I don't like pregnancy when it involves a fetus, though I do enjoy dirty talk and scenarios surrounding breeding! I do enjoy oviposition/egg laying, but I prefer it as part of a monster fucking scenario.

6. What would you think [insert character/pairing here]'s kids would look like/what would [insert character] look like as a kid/do you think [insert couple here] would be great parents?

I don't like talking about kids or children!! and I don't like talking about couples as parents in general!

7. Can i make fanworks of your ocs/AU/fics/art?

YES!! YESYESYES ABSOLUTELY PRETTY PLEASE YES ALWAYS AND FOREVER! All i ask is that you tag me or send me the link to wherever youve posted this, feel free to gift me stuff on ao3 if you like as well, genuinely nothing brings me more joy than inspiring other people so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free!!

8. What are your limits for commissions?

I drew up a helpful little chart for it! anything not on here, you can dm or ask me about!

[tigerdrop]

Got any fun thoughts to share about Ford and Bill?

they drive me crazy dude. i have a lot to say about them so im putting it under a readmore

ive been billpilled for 1 million years dog. hes like the Blueprint. bills the perfect entity to me: terrifying shapeshifting demon who can slip into every corner of your mind and read all your thoughts and memories. and also hes a cartoon character with noodle arms and a cute shape. and hes a pathetic worm whos hung up on his human ex. and hes a funny little guy whos playful and mean and delights in tormenting you but juuuust enough so that he doesnt break you. Hes so awesome

like. listen. this isnt going to be a surprise if youve read literally anything ive ever written. but if bill possessed ford and slammed his hand in a car door and got a kick out of it and put him in a funny little outfit id be fine about it. ford was literally in a 24/7 freeuse lifestyle with him so why WOULDNT he

yeah im kind of a masochist. Why do u ask

put his ass in a horny neurotic guys body and see what happens. hit his dick with a cartoon mallet for fun. slap him around a little. feels cool and neat! like "human bodies are so responsive, huh" said while blanfords about to jam a fork into an outlet (thats my name for it btw. Im not looking it up)

what if i hurt you?? what if i dropped you??? Just kidding :-)

i dont know how much genuine sexual pleasure bill would get out of it so much as the thrill and novelty of a new human sensation but i think that could be fun in and of itself. jacking off with another guys body in a weirdly distant way like Haha Wow. Im getting kind of flustered here! (actively jamming a coke bottle into his pussy)

and the thing that really drives me crazy about ford is how much fetish shit he thinks about/makes inventions for/has inflicted upon him. i think in the series finale hes tied up like 3 fucking times. its insane. he wants to give up control of his body so fucking bad dude!!!!! (exhibit A: ford going limp like a kitten whenever hes picked up. it happens more than once.)

and theres even more contrived bondage bits in the deleted scenes! its maddening. hes an insane obsessive bdsm-lifestyling pervert and hes likethe ideal guy to match bills freak

hes soooo fucking easy. its so much fun to me. theres something really erotic about the way bill makes him feel special about his hands......like.......its naked flattery but its also kinda true. its weird. he likes weird shit. and ford falls for it soooo easy. drives me nuts

now walk with me. think about how easy that same interaction would transfer to ford being transgender. and your not allowed to get mad at me bc this is just my thing now

its so strange! kind of captivating. bills been around the block but the western conception of transmasculinity is so recent that for him it might as well be a blink of the eye. so i think it would be new to him. especially given when he actually makes a deal with ford. just another special thing about his special little guy. he *knew* there was something about ford

and to be frank i think that if you were a transmasc pervert in the 70s and a dream demon came along that understood you inside and out and can make all of your bizarre fantasies come true. well. you would have been fucking stupid not to fuck him

i need to read the book of bill so fucking bad bc the extra context of bill being super hung up on ford drives me CRAZY!!!! i love bitter lovestruck jerks. i love divorce. and i think they could and should hook up again. bad guys that are reluctantly forced to stop being so bad are so much fun and fords huge fucking ego didnt go anywhere. i think bill could convince ford to give him a second chance. at least just to hook up for old times sake

anyway. im making a bill itabag. Gotta go

[ratatatastic]

idk if it's obvious but in the forsy offseason training vid the reporter asks "how do your legs feel, you know, for a man who, well, some see as a greek god" and forsy is just hand on hip staring off fondly in the distance he knows damn well who some is like even at home he's never living that ekky thirst quote down linked together forever just how ekky drew it up

OH YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

MAN HAUNTED BY HIS PARTNERS HORNINESS EVEN IN SWEDEN IM GONNA CRY EKKY LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE THIS MAN IS GETTING HARASSED IN HIS OWN HOMETOWN OH MY GOD CAN HE NOT HAVE PEACE